Shit I Eat

Everyone eats. Everyone shits.

Sometimes, I do both simultaneously.
(Well... not literally)

Welcome!

Freshman Fifteen?

First-year university. It’s a glorious time for all, is it not? You’re an adult not living at home anymore! (or at least, you shouldn’t be!) Free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. 

  • Stay up all night watching movies and skip your morning classes? Sure, why not. 
  • Go out drinking on a weeknight when you have an assignment due the next day? Bin dir, dun dat. 
  • Sleep with half the people on your floor? Okay, maybe I haven’t done that one (but I hear it’s all the rage). 

Unfortunately, this new-found freedom typically leads to some unhealthy nutritional choices which may seem fine at the time.. but once that first year finishes and you take a step on the scales.. Uh oh.  

Enter: My life. Nay, I didn’t succumb to the freshman fifteen. I am, however, a seasoned veteran of the institution that is academic life, and have therefore been face-to-face with many difficult eating choices. I am here to spread the good word about the delicious options I’ve recently encountered via my continuing academic career…

Exhibit A: Chili. You’re missing home-cooked meals? There’s no better option! A generous mix of vitamins and nutrients will surely provide your brain without enough fuel to survive throughout the day.



And look, the container is even disposal. Healthy choice for your body, and healthy choice for the environment. 

Exhibit B:   Okay, things start to get a little bit dicey once you dip into the mediterranean. I’ve stopped caring about the environment (sorry Mother Nature, and damn you polystyrene!). And I can’t exactly chalk this one up as being the healthiest of meals either. However, there clearly is some value across the board. Vegetable salad will make your mother happy, and a greasy chicken-rice-sauce jumble will make YOU happy. 


Exhibit C: This is the part of the tour when shit gets real. Burrito’s have been a clutch fixture in Mexican cuisine for quite some time, but taking a long peak at this burrito.. I’m not sure I can advocate any health benefits. Sure, there are some veggies… but I love my food messy. And this guy has been slathered with sour cream, salsa, and hot sauce, while re-fried beans seep out of its innards. 

To conclude… University students, there are ways to eat healthy. And if you’re on this site searching for those ways, I suggest you turn around and consult a dietitian. The only real way to avoid that Freshman Fifteen is to go to the gym and put down that tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Good luck!

Look familiar?I’ve spoken about this cottage cheese concoction before, but come on internet. Someone out there must agree, this looks delicious (at least, more delicious than the previously depicted version).Are you ready to accept me yet as one of your own? 

Look familiar?

I’ve spoken about this cottage cheese concoction before, but come on internet. Someone out there must agree, this looks delicious (at least, more delicious than the previously depicted version).

Are you ready to accept me yet as one of your own? 

Have you ever had a small block of cheese and thought, “I could either eat this all now or save it for later”? Of course you have. 

This happened to me recently, and instead of dirtying a Tupperware container or wasting plastic wrap, I simply “preserved” my block of cheese by storing it in a jar of half-used pasta sauce. 

People in the modern world just don’t appreciate easy alternatives.  

Hash Browns

“Traditional Breakfast”

.. Think about that for a second.

What did you come up with? Let me guess. . Two eggs (any style), your choice of bacon/sausage/ham, hash browns, and toast. Does that sound familiar?

I’m here to tell you show you that hash browns are much more flexible. 

Why not soak them in ketchup and enjoy them alongside some salted avocado?

 

Okay, that’s pretty plain. I know what kind of person you are. You like things to be wrapped, you like things that are familiar.. that remind you of home. 

Well, while not improvise a little on Mom’s homemade fajitas? Ya know.. take the vegetarian route and replace the chicken with hash browns, and.. the salsa with ketchup!

Improvisation = complete success!

Breakfast

Okay, so I’ve already been getting some requests for breakfast pictures. 

The phone hasn’t stopped ringing. 
“Chad, what do you eat for breakfast?”
“Chad, if THAT’S the stuff you eat for lunch & dinner, I can’t even conceive the grossness of your breakfast. Please, show me!”

The time has come for me to satisfy the needs of my fans. 

Item #1: You like eggs and toast for breakfast? Pretty standard, yeah? Well it’s pretty boring in my world. Why don’t you put a bit of habanero salsa on those eggs, and while we’re at it, let’s throw some natural peanut butter/strawberry jam/cottage cheese on top of our toast. 

Does that get your crank turning? 

Item #2: This is perhaps one of my favorites. Some low fat strawberry yogurt, frozen berries, and cottage cheese all swirled together to make a morning mash-up that Booster Juice can’t even compete with. For safety purposes, I’d recommend having a 2 liter container of chocolate milk close-by to help you manage these intense flavors. 

Done.  

Yes, there are fans from all over the world my friend group already submitting their favorite food creations. I must state that sea-shell pasta is probably an 85% guaranteed-way to transform whatever you’re about to eat into a smorgasbord of awkward opportunity.  Approve.  

Yes, there are fans from all over the world my friend group already submitting their favorite food creations.

I must state that sea-shell pasta is probably an 85% guaranteed-way to transform whatever you’re about to eat into a smorgasbord of awkward opportunity.  

Approve.  

Do you have a hard time getting through the day?Is your life sometimes a little dry?Well, what better way to spice it up than to add some chocolate chips. They aren’t just meant for baking, as one might guess; they make quite a nice addition to pasta, too! (Warning: try to avoid eating large handfuls both before & after the meal) For those of you with keen observational skills, you’ve also picked up on the ranch dressing used to enhance the pasta sauce. Flawless victory. 

Do you have a hard time getting through the day?
Is your life sometimes a little dry?

Well, what better way to spice it up than to add some chocolate chips. They aren’t just meant for baking, as one might guess; they make quite a nice addition to pasta, too! 

(Warning: try to avoid eating large handfuls both before & after the meal) 

For those of you with keen observational skills, you’ve also picked up on the ranch dressing used to enhance the pasta sauce. Flawless victory. 

What are YOU cooking for dinner tonight? Obviously not something this delicious. You’re looking at a mix of penne pasta, three-cheese pasta sauce, and grated  cheddar on top. But the human body needs greens too, right? Don’t worry, I’ve thought of the chlorophyll… that’s why the wilted spinach and salted-avocado are included. Are you vomiting salivating? 

What are YOU cooking for dinner tonight? Obviously not something this delicious. 

You’re looking at a mix of penne pasta, three-cheese pasta sauce, and grated  cheddar on top. But the human body needs greens too, right? Don’t worry, I’ve thought of the chlorophyll… that’s why the wilted spinach and salted-avocado are included. 

Are you vomiting salivating?

 

This was lunch. It was a combination of taco leftovers from the previous night (lettuce, mexican-flavored veggie ground beef, sauteed onion and mushrooms), along with dry curd cottage cheese. Of course, I needed to add a spoonful of mild pineapple salsa to accentuate all of these flavors. (Oh, and if you were worried about my health, the dry curd cottage cheese was only 0.4% fat) 

This was lunch. It was a combination of taco leftovers from the previous night (lettuce, mexican-flavored veggie ground beef, sauteed onion and mushrooms), along with dry curd cottage cheese. Of course, I needed to add a spoonful of mild pineapple salsa to accentuate all of these flavors. 

(Oh, and if you were worried about my health, the dry curd cottage cheese was only 0.4% fat) 

My manifestoFOOD! We all eat it. Some of us eat more than others…Some eat healthier than others.  This blog, however, is intended to be a fortress for those of you who eat shit are ashamed to admit what you eat. Rest assured, fellow friends; You are not alone. I’m here to let you know that there are others like you. . there is no need to hide. STAND UP! Raise your containers of cottage cheese in the air! Take another spoonful from your can of beans! The ridicule is now no longer just yours. ..because this is The Shit I Eat.  


My manifesto

FOOD! We all eat it. Some of us eat more than others…Some eat healthier than others.  

This blog, however, is intended to be a fortress for those of you who eat shit are ashamed to admit what you eat. Rest assured, fellow friends; You are not alone. I’m here to let you know that there are others like you. . there is no need to hide. 

STAND UP! Raise your containers of cottage cheese in the air! Take another spoonful from your can of beans! The ridicule is now no longer just yours. 

..because this is The Shit I Eat.